Why shouldn’t you expect anything from anyone?

Perhaps you have ever read or seen somewhere the phrase: “Do not expect anything from anyone, expect everything from yourself”. Perhaps, at first glance, it seemed a bit strong and you wondered why you couldn’t wait any longer, or if that wasn’t just settling. But this phrase is not just a saying, it reminds us of a great learning that is good to remember.

It is very common that in the face of different things that happen to us all the time, we look for the “cause” outside of us. “She didn’t let me talk”; “he didn’t pay me properly”, “because of him I couldn’t do what I had planned”, “he doesn’t make me feel special”, “he doesn’t value me”, etc, etc.

But in everything that happens to us, both good and painful, we ourselves, in a certain way, are involved. Sometimes it is very difficult to see it because another person seems “to blame” or “responsible” for it being so. But in truth, when we understand that everything around us is nothing more than a mirror of our interior, we can take action on the matter. The good news is that once we take over this place, things can change a lot more than we think!

When you stop expecting everything from others, disappointment, frustration, and heartbreak can even lessen. We cannot in any way control or predict exactly how another will act, nor can we fully understand why he acts in this or that way. We can only modify what we do not like starting with ourselves.

Follow these tips to take courage, take your place and create a prosperous reality for yourself.

1. Let go of expectations

Do you expect someone to come and tell you how well you do your job? Do you think your partner should tell you that you are really special to him/her? Do you expect your friend to thank you for what you did for him? Mistake!

The value of what you do and say is given only by you. In any case, what others may say to you later will only be a reflection, but get rid of the belief that what you do, what you say or what you feel is worth only if someone knows how to see or appreciate it, since you can waste your time and frustrate you instead of valuing and rejoicing yourself. You are the architect of your own happiness!

2. Forget ideal situations or people

Idealization comes hand in hand with expectations. You must understand that perfection as such does not exist and that there are things that only happen in movies. Avoid the disappointments that the fall of ideals generates. How? Accepting that everyone, including you, has limitations and possibilities.

3. Understand that your values ​​are yours

There are things that may be obvious to you, but not to others. Therefore, not expecting anything from anyone also has the side of accepting that not everyone is like you, that there are those who, due to their history and their own choices, may have values ​​or principles that you do not share but even for that person they are “obvious” or automatic in the way they act, think or feel. Instead of waiting or complaining (which is the flip side of waiting), ask yourself why you care so much, and what you can learn from it.

4. Enough with the blame

It is very common that when we feel that things are not going well we blame someone or something. Unintentionally, this puts us in the place of victims. And a victim, as well as a child, you just have to protect her. But, despite the security, what room for action do we have in this place? That is why, although it sometimes hurts, it is more liberating to assume our place and rethink what we can be doing so that what we would like to happen does not happen.

They may seem like set phrases, but each one carries a lesson for you. Always have them present!

  • Do not expect another to respect you as you would like, respect yourself!
  • Don’t expect them to recognize your value, value yourself enough!
  • Don’t expect them to make your place, believe it!
  • Do not blame others, be self-involved in how things happen.
  • Don’t let your happiness depend on someone else, build it for yourself!
  • Do not expect them to understand you, express yourself with sincerity.
  • Do not expect anyone to fit your ideal, accept each one (and especially yourself) as they are.
  • Don’t expect them to love you, love yourself!