There are people who disbelieve in therapy because, even in the 21st century, it is believed to be something “for crazy people”, or for people who are not well.
In reality, psychologists help us to see problems from other perspectives, to understand what is happening to us, and to modify our mental paradigms for the better. Therefore, it is always a good time to go to a psychologist.
If you have doubts about everything that can happen in therapy, these are some of the best tips that have been given in therapy.
1. Do not compare your bad moments with the happy moments of others
In the age of social media, we all show how beautiful our life is. But how many people show their problems?
Hardly anyone, just like you don’t either. So why do you compare your worst moments with the happy moments shown by others? Live your life and forget about comparing yourself all the time.
2. Eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary
Stop imposing homework on yourself all the time. If you demand too much of yourself, you are not capable of living anything; you are always thinking about what you “should” be doing at any given moment.
Do as much as you can, set realistic goals and enjoy the moment. Remember, you are not a robot.
3. Don’t worry about what you can’t control
Especially when it comes to the behavior of other people. The permanent concern prevents you from living your life to the full, and what is the point of having a hard time for things that do not depend on you?
Focus on what is under your control, and leave the rest aside.
4. Stop thinking about all the bad things that can happen
According to psychologists, “anxiety overestimates risk and underestimates your ability to cope.” That is to say: things will not be as terribly bad as you are imagining them, and, if bad things happen, you will be able to face them.
Do not focus on the bad that can happen, because for your brain, what you imagine is real. Why not think of all the good things that can happen?
5. People do not have the right to have unlimited access to you
You don’t have to be the boat where everyone downloads what they don’t like. You have no obligation to help anyone, or listen to anyone.
You are the only one with the right to say how far the other can go in their relationship with you. And you have the right to say “no” as many times as you want.
6. You can’t change people, but you can change how you interact with them.
You cannot control the behavior of others, nor change it. You are only responsible for your own life. What you can do is choose who you relate to and in what way.
7. Everything in you is thoughts, emotions and behaviors
Within you, these three factors combine all the time. Your thoughts influence your emotions, your emotions influence your behaviors, your behaviors influence your emotions, your emotions influence your thoughts.
Thus, permanently and intertwined. So if your emotions are wrong, you can change them by changing your mindset.
If you can change the way you think about things in a direct and persistent way, you will change the way you feel about yourself, people and your environment, as well as the way you behave.
8. Allow yourself to fail
Look, perfection doesn’t exist. You can have a distant horizon or an ambitious goal, but you must not beat yourself up to be perfect. Because you will never be, and you will always be frustrated.
Accept that you can be wrong. That you can stumble on the road. That sometime, you may have to fail. Only to the extent that you accept that can you move forward.
9. Where you are is not who you are
Something that can help you a lot is to always remember that where you are does not define you. You may be unemployed, but that doesn’t make you useless. You may be sad, but you are not a weak person.
Situations change, and your environment logically alters you. But it doesn’t make you anything you don’t want to be. Remember that you are much more than what happens to you.