The 7 stages of love that couples go through

All couple relationships are different: when two people choose to be together, their bond begins to evolve, and in each particular case everything happens differently. There are no general rules that can be applied to all cases and you can never know for sure what is going to happen next.

However, it is also possible to realize that in many couples there are patterns that repeat themselves. Perhaps it happened to you that when a friend or family member shared a love story with you, you felt that the same thing had already happened to you, or that after several relationships you learned to identify moments or stages that were repeated in a more or less similar way.

Usually, there are seven periods that couples go through from when they start until they end in some way. Your relationship may skip some, they may develop in another order or you may experience sensations that do not correspond to any, but it is also very possible that you feel identified.

1. Infatuation

The infatuation stage is what many people consider the most beautiful in a relationship. It’s when you feel a strong attraction to someone, and everything seems nice and wonderful. If the attraction is mutual, life seems rosy. To the eyes of others, lovers appear dazed and distracted. But for them, everything is incredible, and they usually feel that nothing like this has ever happened to them before. It is the stage of chemistry. This period can last only two or three months, or extend for a year or two, but not much longer. In that case, it overlaps with the next stage, knowledge.

2. Knowledge

After that intense stage, where everything is new and surprising, a stage of more emotional depth begins. If there was no quick initial disenchantment and people are still together, the next stage is getting to know each other. It is a time of long talks in the couple where both ask many questions, they want to know about the other’s tastes, about their history and about their way of seeing the world. The universe expands, lovers are no longer simply dazzled by the other but begin to really know him. They can visit their family and see their surroundings; each truly becomes a part of the other’s life. At this stage there is also a greater emotional opening, which if it is sincere and deep, feels very good.

Of course there are no set rules for any of this, so things can happen differently. Some couples open up emotionally earlier than others; and there are also those who know each other before the infatuation stage, because they were friends or colleagues before having a love relationship.

3. Everyday life

After the first stages, in which the couple is a novelty in the lives of both, time passes and what was previously new becomes routine. Perhaps they no longer go out as much and spend more time at home, often the sexual frequency drops, and spaces of independence that were relegated are recovered. At this stage, which begins when they have been in a relationship for more than a year, some couples live in the same house. That accentuates the routine and can also bring many frictions that did not exist before. When there is no coexistence, something similar happens anyway, because they spend a lot of time together and share many things. Responsibilities, routine and burdens can threaten what seemed so perfect.

4. Conflict and negotiation

This stage can occur before the previous one or at the same time. Sooner or later, almost all couples experience arguments, misunderstandings, complaints and intolerance. The power relationship that is implicit in every couple becomes visible: the one who feels that they are making the most effort, makes it noticeable, and the trust that already exists allows claims to appear and both to express their disagreement. The crisis ensues, which some couples overcome. For others, it may be time to admit that everyone wants to follow a different path.

It is also a moment of self-affirmation: when someone recognizes that the other is also a human being and is not perfect, it is a moment of reunion with oneself, of being honest with one’s own individual needs.

5. Growth

When the couple overcomes the first moments of crisis, it is ready for a true growth together. When lovers see and recognize the negative aspects that their partner or life together can have, and decide to move on, the relationship becomes deeper, more mature and more stable. You love the other with his virtues but also accepting his imperfection, and your own. It may be time to make decisions such as moving, becoming parents, or undertaking a project together; enthusiasm and excitement are reborn in a new way.

6. Deep communication

For some couples, this stage never comes, but when it does, the deep communication stage can be very happy and fulfilling. It is accepted that the couple is as it is, with the good and the bad, but also the relationship has matured, conflicts can be discussed with great sincerity and resolved without representing a deep crisis. Each couple sets their own rules of negotiation. The limits of the other are known, but knowing them also allows us to play with them. Possibly the couple can face anything.

7. Transcendence

Relationships can end in different ways. Sometimes there is disappointment, other times it just feels like it’s time to put an end to it. Sometimes both people agree on the decision and other times one person should only take the initiative. But you always have to work on acceptance and remember that an end opens the door to new beginnings.

Of course love can last a lifetime. But even those loves end somehow, even if it’s with death. When a person stays, he also has to accept that a stage is over, and that now he has to move on, because life still has something prepared for him.