You may have had a partner for many years, or you may be starting your love relationship. But the big question is always the same: Does he love me or does he not love me?
Beyond plucking the leaves of a daisy, there are several aspects that you can take into account when answering this question.
Logically, these are not absolute truths, since each person is different, and the ways of expressing love can vary. However, if your partner really loves you, they probably have some of these characteristics.
If you feel that none of them fit with the relationship you are having, you can consider having a conversation as a couple in which they make it clear how each one feels in the relationship, to see if it is possible to improve it.
1. He wants to spend time with you
In an increasingly individualistic world, one of the greatest signs of love is wanting to spend time with another person.
According to the new marriage theory developed by Northwestern University psychologist Eli Finkel, relationships have now become “all or nothing.”
Frenkel explains that today’s couples have much higher expectations in their long-term relationships (he talks specifically about marriage, but it can apply to couples who have been together for many years), so they can achieve a higher degree of satisfaction.
But, he clarifies, “only if they are able to invest a great deal of time and energy in their partners. If they are unable to do so, their marriage will soon fall victim to these new expectations.”
That is why today if your partner decides, among all the possibilities that he may have, to spend time with you, it is a sign that he really loves you.
2. Does not harm your dignity
Discussions are something normal in couples, there will always be conflicting opinions on certain topics. But that does not imply that the dignity of the other person can be damaged in a moment of anger.
If the person with whom you share your day humiliates you, mistreats you, makes you look bad in public by speaking ill of you… Then that person does not love you and it is best to walk away.
3. Show affection physically
It is not enough to say “I love you”: affection is also shown. Although we believe that physical contact or sex are not pillars of a relationship, the truth is that they are part of an essential base.
According to what is commonly called “love chemistry”, high levels of oxytocin, the “love hormone”, are released in the face of physical and romantic contact with our partner.
A study conducted by scientists at the University of Bonn (Germany) showed a close link between oxytocin and fidelity. In other words, how close a relationship can be depends, in large part, on the physical proximity of our partner.
4. He defends you
A person who truly loves you will defend you from all criticism. If, on the other hand, when someone speaks badly about you in a social gathering, your partner immediately agrees, it is a sign that something is wrong. Even criticizing yourself in public can be a sign that the relationship is becoming toxic and psychologically violent.
When couples have been together for a long time, it sometimes becomes customary to highlight each other’s shortcomings. Unfortunately, it is a custom that ends up deteriorating the relationship and leading to a bad ending.
When someone is in love, they will not allow anyone to harm or speak ill of their partner.
5. Look for different communication channels
If a person loves you, they must understand that communication is essential in the couple. Therefore, if he truly appreciates you, he will look for channels of communication to learn more about you, and he will not avoid moments of deep talk.
According to psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne, “Communication doesn’t just involve sharing your thoughts, ideas, and feelings about everyday situations. It also entails reaching the bottom of our desires.”
Therefore, a person who really loves you will try to understand you deeply, and not just stay on the surface.
6. You are their priority
In short, when someone really loves you, they put you in a priority place in their life. This does not mean that you put aside your family, your friends or your passions.
It simply means that that person is willing to project their future with you, and that is why they will take into account your opinion on things, and will give you a privileged place in their life.
If your partner doesn’t do any of these things… maybe you should think about whether they still love each other like the first day.