Passive aggressive behaviors are characteristic of certain types of people. They are also known as silent aggression, because the truth is that they do not have too striking manifestations. On the contrary, it is a subtle manipulation that can cause a lot of damage.
When these behaviors occur in the couple, the damage can be even greater, since they are still small acts of symbolic violence. It is important to know how to identify them to be very attentive and, if they become habitual, set a limit.
How to identify them
“Subtle violence”, “manipulation”, “silent aggression”. What is all this? The best way to understand what we are talking about is to review the most common behaviors in passive-aggressive people. If you don’t live with someone like that, you’ll understand right away.
When angry, passive aggressive people may not speak to you. The worst thing is that you may not know what is the reason for his anger, and he will not tell you either. He may even deny that something is wrong with him. It is very difficult to find solutions to problems with these people, because they almost never clearly communicate what is happening to them.
Passive aggressive people do little and criticize a lot. They choose the comfort of not doing, and from there they can hardly be judged. They are placed on that false pedestal to criticize what others do. In the couple, many times they have this attitude in daily tasks.
- 3. Freedom vs. dependence
The passive aggressive profile is ambivalent. That’s why it can be difficult to know what they want: maybe they don’t even know. They are people who demand attention, but when all eyes are on them, they can become defensive and demand freedom. Conversely, when they are given their own space, they may demand more attention.
Passive aggressive people are experts at victimizing themselves. It is difficult for them to assume their responsibility for the things that happen to them: everything goes wrong for them, nobody understands them. In the couple, this is usually especially hard, because they can blame the other person for all their ills.
One of the clearest passive aggressive behaviors is to use sarcasm as a tool. Thus, he will attack in a subtle way but will always show what he thinks of you, although in a joking way, so that he can always tell that you have misunderstood him.
What to do with a passive aggressive person
If all of the above has automatically reminded you of someone, it’s probably because you know a passive aggressive person and you didn’t know it. If it’s your partner, things can get worse if they don’t find dialogue points
The most important thing is to understand that many times passive aggressive people do not have these behaviors consciously, it is simply the way in which they know how to relate. Making them notice these attitudes may be the first way to prevent the relationship from being ruined.
It is best not to try to get noticed while they are having this type of behavior, because they are also often stubborn and deniers. Ideally, find a time when both of you are well and happy to talk about it. Instead, during some of the passive aggressive behaviors, it is best to ignore the person until it passes.
Finally, if the behavior continues, it’s not a bad idea to suggest some type of therapy. And if the person definitely refuses to change, it may be best to step back for a while.
Do you know someone with passive aggressive behaviors?
Sources:
The Mind is Wonderful
The country