Make no mistake: differences between love and obsession

Love can be a very intense feeling that often takes over more than one lover completely, causing them to act in ways they never thought of before.

From psychology these characteristics are identified with the stage of falling in love or the beginning of love, where a kind of misrepresentation of reality is experienced as a result of that same intensity of feeling that is being experienced.

But that stage, precisely, is that: a stage. Just as it begins, it also ends and gives way to the next one; in whose succession real love is built.

However, there are people who confuse love, or feeling in love, with obsession, which is something totally different. Obsession does not act in favor of the growth of love, but harms it. And many times it is more related to the ego than to a real feeling for the other, as argued.

pay attention to these differences so as not to confuse love with obsession.

Control and anxiety – Respect

Real love does not control the other, it persecutes them, is jealous of them, or is constantly checking what they are doing. This is not “being more in love,” nor is it a display of affection. It’s obsession. When one person loves the other, he respects her time and her space, and lets go trusting.

Attachment – Detachment

In real love, unlike obsession, both do not consider the other as “theirs”, since they recognize that there is not one person, but two who choose to share life together. This implies respecting individualities and working on detachment.

Feeling that life ends if the other is not there – Life exists beyond the other

An obsessive person feels that the other can constantly leave, can be missing, and this idea generates fear and anxiety. There is no inner strength, in his self-love, that still makes him understand that recognizing that life exists beyond the other person is not “lack of love”, but reality, and a symbol of a healthy relationship where both do not they choose “to complete”. The choice is by desire and not by necessity.

Denial – Acceptance

Obsession is not only seen in a couple in excess of control and jealousy; also, in breaks or distances it can be more easily perceived. In those cases, denial goes hand in hand with obsession; on the contrary, acceptance, even of a reality with which we do not agree, is the basis of real love, even when the couple ends.


Psychology and Mind