Being in a relationship is not at all “a bed of roses” as it seems. With the crush of the first months everything can look perfect. We tend to idealize the other, to enhance their virtues and omit their defects, and to dream and create a world that always fills our eyes with illusion. But when the crush falls, we enter into a crisis. Suddenly what we thought was so perfect is not. We begin to notice flaws, conflicts begin, and we no longer feel as “in love” as before.
What’s going on? Something much more normal than you think. It happens to all couples. If this happens to you, don’t despair! You are in a “hinge moment”. Although it may seem like everything is hanging by a thread, it doesn’t necessarily have to be. If you transcend this, you will be able to move on to the next stage and go deeper into a much more real love.
1. They disagree
Being in a couple is not always thinking the same. It’s normal for them to have different opinions about different things, and that can lead to some arguments. But there is no one who “is right”; they can see it from opposite optics, the issue is that they learn to respect it. If that has to do with what love, fidelity or other issues that do affect the couple means for each one, they must reach an agreement.
2. They do not share the same tastes
Another of the illusions of romantic love is that “you have to share everything.” The false idea of ”soul mates” or “better halfs” found. You must understand that the good thing about sharing with the other is that it is different from you! This will be your teacher, he will be able to teach you new things, and make you see an angle of the circumstances that you did not take into account.
3. They are not as sticky as usual
It is normal that after the stage of falling in love, they no longer need to be as sticky as before. They may want to see their friends again, if they had a moment of not seeing each other so often, sharing separate spaces, and even not being as affectionate as usual. This does not necessarily have to mean the end of love, but it could represent the beginning of a stage of greater maturity.
4. Sex is not as frequent anymore
For the same reason as the previous point, it can happen to you at this stage that you no longer want to have sex with as much passion or frequency as before. This could not be the end of the relationship either, but rather a new stage where they can begin to share other things as well, which have more to do with the pleasure of feeling each other’s company.
Of course, these signs depend a lot on each couple and the particular moment that each one is going through. So the best thing you can do is:
- Never lose your intuition. If there is something inside of you that tells you that things are not going well, listen to it.
- Never lose sight of your own desire. Take care and respect yourself above all.
- Talk to your partner. Always talk from love and respect to make the other understand what is happening to you, and listen to him/her. Working on empathy is the best way to lay a good foundation.