If you are in a relationship or have ever been, you will know that it is a very happy moment, although it can also be complicated.
People often spend their lives looking for someone to share their days with, but sometimes when they find that person, things are not exactly what they expected.
Meanwhile, the luckiest find at some point the right person, with whom to share their life and their projects.
There are many psychological theories that explain love and relationships. One is Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. According to this theory, love is a relationship in which three components can intervene: intimacy, passion and commitment.
According to how these components interrelate, it will be the kind of love that sustains your relationship. Thus, as you can see in the following table, there are only 7 types of love for this theory.
1. Honey
When the only component in our relationship is intimacy, it is said that the relationship is affectionate.
Intimacy is understood as the bond of affection that arises from sharing time, interests and desires with another person. In affection, it is the only kind of affection that is felt, leaving out passion and long-term commitment.
Affection is not exclusive to the romantic relationship, and can also be felt by close friends, or by family.
2. Infatuation
In this type of relationship, the only component that sustains it is passion. There is a very strong sexual desire for the other person, but there is nothing else: no intimacy, no future projection.
It can be the initial stage of another type of love (after “love at first sight” to understand that intimacy and commitment can build) or be a mere adventure.
3. Empty love
This kind of love is based solely on commitment. That is, in the rational decision of wanting to maintain a relationship beyond the difficult moments. However, there is neither intimacy nor passion.
This type of union is normal in arranged or convenience marriages. Although each member of the couple does not feel anything for the other, there is a sense of respect and reciprocity.
It is a love that only goes through the head, and not through the heart.
4. Romantic love
This type of love is typical of intense but short-lived stories. It is a relationship in which there is passion and also intimacy, the two people can get along very well together in bed and out of it.
They are willing to enjoy the moment with the other person, and they have a lot in common. However, there is no commitment: that is, a decision to continue together over time.
It is typical of summer love, also of adolescence or early youth. A love that marks but does not last.
5. Sociable love
It is the type of love common in relationships that have been around for a long time, and that have failed to maintain the passion. However, love is sustained by a great affection for the other person (intimacy) and by a strong commitment to stay together through thick and thin.
Although the sexual desire has been lost, the intention to continue sharing life together is still valid. It is, in some way, a deep friendship and a feeling of familiarity with the other person. Recovering the passion is something that can be tried: it is not certain that it will work, but as they say, “where there was fire, ashes remain”.
6. Fatuous love
In this case, the passion that two people feel for each other is so great that it even makes commitment appear.
That is, that the members of the relationship are willing to assume a long-term relationship based on the sexual and romantic desire they feel for the other.
However, in this love, intimacy has not been adequately developed, which is why a deeper affective bond is lacking.
7. Consummate love
It is the most complete form of love. In this case, all three components are harmoniously related to each other.
It represents the ideal form of love, which apparently everyone wants to reach. It is a relationship in which the passion remains intact, the intimacy grows and the commitment to continue being together is maintained.
According to this theory, it is more difficult to maintain consummated love than to reach it, since some of the components can gradually disappear over time.
For this reason, when a relationship of consummate love has been achieved, it is important to work to maintain it over the years.
What types of love have you experienced throughout your life?