We are going to say things as they are: we have all participated in some gossip at some time. Even if you don’t like it, surely you have found yourself talking about a friend’s infidelity, about the strange customs of others, or about something. The problem is that sometimes it can be gossip about you.
A study showed that about 80% of the conversations we have on a daily basis are about other people’s lives and customs. In other words, we gossip 80% of the time.
Come on, that to a certain extent is normal. But when it becomes pathological, it can be very damaging. Not just for the “victim” of the gossip, but for everyone else in the conversation.
When does gossip become pathological?
A gossip can range from a simple criticism to the invention of a whole story around a certain person.
As we said, although we all participate in this behavior in one way or another, there are times when gossip becomes pathological. There are people who make gossip a habit, and they can be very toxic.
Generally, these are people who need to attract attention, and for this they cling to the habit of talking about other people. The gossip considered dangerous is an individual who suffers from great anguish and insecurity, which drives him to attack, since countless destructive fantasies are formed in his mind that lead him to have that attitude.
This type of individual is responsible for reproducing and making the “news” about a certain person reach everyone’s ears. Sometimes the comments may be based on reality, but they are almost always misrepresented and exaggerated.
The result is that everyone within a certain circle (such as friends, co-workers or even family) ends up commenting on that story. Without speaking directly with the affected person, to see what they think.
Stop gossip with a single sentence
For all this, living with gossipy people can be difficult. In addition, being part of that circuit makes you an accomplice in an attitude that harms the person affected, and that makes any circle of people rare.
The good news is that, according to psychologists, there is a phrase you can use to nip the gossip around you in the bud.
When someone comes over to gossip with you, just ask:
- Why are you telling me this?
This question, so simple, has a double function. In the first place, it shows that you really are not one of those who are interested in the lives of others, if it is not something that affects you directly.
But above all, it exposes the gossip. Faced with that question, he may not know what to answer. And that, perhaps, makes him reflect on his attitude. Or at least, it will stop involving you in the subject.