Surely you know of a case of a person who, from the mouth outwards, presents himself in one way, although with his actions he expresses exactly the opposite, and many times, with intentions to harm.
It is one of the fundamental symptoms of fake people; and sometimes it is related to those who are hypocritical as a form of behavior.
The dictionary states that a false person presents “pretense of qualities or feelings contrary to those that are truly had or experienced.” In everyday behaviours, are framed as toxic and harmfulsince they do not follow good purposes towards others.
Although psychologists affirm that there are no categories that separate when someone is totally false, it has been defined that the most usual thing is that in certain facets of life they behave in that way, and in others they do not.
Some basic features
Generally speaking, someone who behaves falsely tends to have an insecure personality, which leads him to act and mask their way of being when being in front of others.
Also seeks attentioneven when he knows that he can cause an upset to others, and uses lies, denial, misrepresentation and revenge as tools.
As for hypocrisy, in this case the moral judgment on their behavior appears, since it shows what we commonly call a “double standard”. On the one hand, they can use beliefs that do not belong to them and act them out, and thus they have a weak morality, because it does not start from their own convictions and values. Or, they change their minds and opinions depending on the occasion.
some attitudes
As an example, these are some attitudes that show behaviors that may be false or hypocritical in front of others:
– Show a smile ahead, and they criticize you mercilessly behind.
– They change their behavior in front of you in a very conspicuous way.
– If you stand up to them, they say the wrong person is youthat you are misunderstanding things.
– They focus on their own world and they don’t care what the person feels which is the target of their falsehood or hypocrisy.
– pretend permanently in those situations.
– They adopt tangles, liestranscended and gossip.
– They only approach in peace to get something in return.
– They appear in good times, and disappear in the bad.
– they ignore you and they let you know so that you feel it more.
– They promise too much, and they do not comply in almost nothing.
– They weave networks into which innocent people fall, with the sole purpose of entangle them and multiply the effect of their falsity.
– They do not answer calls or orders: they want to show superiority.
Tips for living with false and hypocritical people
Since we surround ourselves with all kinds of people in the world, it is important to learn to distinguish and manage them.
If you want to live more in peace with yourself, here are some ideas in case you have to share spaces with them:
1. Question everything that a person who you consider false expresses to you
Your personality can cheat on you and make you believe that they have good intentions, although in the long run they will reveal their tricks.
2. If you can, avoid them
The most convenient thing is to remove this type of person from your life, since the only thing they will do is hinder your emotional world, and that you stay thinking and ruminating about the way you act.
3. If you can’t avoid them, keep interactions short
In the event that it is not feasible to cut the ties, you can choose who you will spend more time with and who less. Before people who have shown falsehood and hypocrisy with you, have brief interactions, the minimum necessary.
4. Do not talk to these people until they do
A form of cut harmful links is to avoid initiating all kinds of conversations, requests or relationships on your part. If something comes from your side, you will evaluate at that moment what you want to do.
5. Set limits and say no
For many people, saying no is a big challenge; In the case of this type of person, it is convenient train yourself in this, to feel the right to express it with total clarity and without hesitation (just like they do with you).
6. Keep calm
Frequently, whoever is false or hypocritical wants upset you with the way you act. Calm down, breathe and do not show that they have affected you, because that confirms their way of acting.
7. Do not lower yourself to his msame level
If you are not that way, do not lower yourself to their level, because you will be degrading yourself and entering a costume that is not yours. Restrict any desire for revengerudeness or act of bad faith.
The fake person preys on the good guys: usually the target is personalities who give space for them to manifest. When you show yourself firmly, decisively and without space for them to act, they withdraw and look for another “victim”.
8. Do not speak ill of that person
One trend is that, even if you don’t want to do any harm, you talk to other people about that person’s behavior. The suggestion is to avoid doing it, so as not to fall into the same mechanism. Just ignore it and get over it internally.
9. If your friend is fake or hypocritical, talk about it
You will have to make a decision, because in occasional social relationships, for example, an outing, a dinner, or someone you have not seen for decades as study partners, maybe you can be more flexible to let fake or hypocrisy behavior go by.
In the event that someone much closer, such as friends, family and a very intimate environment, behaves in this way, your life will be crossed by unpleasant emotions. Right now go straight ahead, present your vision of the facts, and prepare for the thrust, because there will be resistance and denial from the other party.
In any case, do not get upset no matter how difficult things are, because what is usually sought is for you to get out of your axis. Be courteous, yet firm, in deciding if this person deserves to remain in your circle.