Walking away from someone you have loved very much always implies a duel. Even if you have realized that this person was no longer good for you.
The good news is that you have taken the most important step, which is making the decision to put yourself and your needs first. Now it’s time to look for the tools to try to make it easier.
These tips will help you get through this stage.
1. Allow yourself to express your pain
You may feel that crying and expressing your pain makes it more complicated, but nothing is further from the truth. Accepting that it hurts is the best way to heal. If you need to cry, do it. If you need to talk to someone, do that too.
Don’t be ashamed of what you feel or try to deny it. Well, if you act like that, sooner or later that pain will be expressed in some way.
2. Don’t expose yourself unnecessarily
If you’ve made the decision to walk away, don’t expose yourself to self-doubt, rejection, or relapse. Delete that person from social networks, and if you can’t do it, at least try not to spend all day looking at their profile.
Try to avoid texting in the middle of the night, or going places just because you know that person will be there. I know, sometimes it’s hard not to give in to temptation, but exposing yourself to pain will only make it harder.
3. Use your energy in creative things
Staying locked up at home using all your energy to go over and over the same things makes no sense. Even if it costs you, choose to get out of lockdown.
Find a hobby that you like and keep your mind busy. If it is something creative, much better! Creativity connects you with the best of yourself, with things that maybe you didn’t even remember that you liked. It is time to return to them.
4. Accept the situation as it is
Many times, when we make a difficult decision, at the same time we begin to ask ourselves “what would have happened if…”. It is an ugly feeling, and the truth is that it does not lead to anything, since you cannot change the past.
The truth is that things in general do not happen in the perfect way that we had in mind. No matter. Accept will be the key word during this process.
5. Surround yourself with people who do you good
When you’re sad, the best thing you can do is lean on people who love you in a genuine and healthy way. Go out with your friends, go to eat at your parents’ house. Talk about the subject or anything else, but don’t stop being with the people who do you good.
Don’t be afraid to be a drag either: they will know how to understand the stage you are going through and they will have all the patience you need at this time.
6. Meet new people
This can be the hardest part of all, since you may have become a little insecure after walking away from that person. You probably think that relationships are not your thing and that you just need solitude.
It’s healthy not to want to “pull a nail with another nail”, but it’s also important that you give yourself the opportunity to meet new people, at least to remind yourself that the world is full of worthwhile people with whom you can get along.
Then, you will decide, in your own time, when you are ready to really tackle something more serious with someone. But in the meantime, have fun!
7. Take care of yourself more, judge yourself less
Instead of spending your days judging everything you’ve done and throwing thousands of blame at yourself, use your time to take care of yourself. Go back to your favorite activities. Treat yourself to a spa day. Eat well. Rest.
The best way out of pain is to feel strong and sure of who you are.
Remember: the pain will pass. You just have to give it time.
Share these tips with people who need it.
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