Everything in this life is cyclical. Things inevitably begin and end, people come to this life and we leave it. It is the law of things and of life in general.
A cycle is a compilation of lived moments, impregnated with feelings, pleasant or not, to which we become attached. In reality, the cycles of our life are interconnected, and while one is closing, another is soon opening.
The problem is when our mind gets stuck in past cycles, to which we no longer belong. So, we close ourselves to the possibility of beginning to live new stages, and we remain stagnant: without the possibility of moving forward.
Specialists in psychology have been finding, throughout many case studies, certain ways to learn to close cycles, and allow us to get ahead. These 6 are the fundamental keys to achieve it.
1. Understand that forgetting is not the same as avoiding
Sometimes we make the mistake of not wanting to think about things from our past that hurt us. We try by all means to avoid thoughts that remind us of those we have lost.
But that is definitely one of the worst things we can do. In order to close a cycle it is necessary to remember, because avoiding what makes us bad will only make it appear later.
Also, it is impossible to forget completely: but it is possible to remember without pain.
Remember the good and be thankful for having lived it. Remember the bad, and learn from it. Little by little, from so much remembering, it will begin to heal.
2. Say goodbye to guilt
It is normal that, when we face the closure of a cycle that we were not prepared to end, a feeling of guilt invades us.
The belief that we did not do enough, that perhaps, if we had done things in such or such a way, the result would have been different.
But right now, we must remember that “if only” does not exist. We did the best we could, and if things turned out the way they did, it was for a reason.
Haunting ourselves with what we could have done only undermines our self-esteem. We must learn to love ourselves and make our decisions without guilt.
3. Forgive
It may sound easy, but it is not, especially because perhaps we expect an attitude from another to forgive. An apology, a gesture.
The important thing is to understand that the decision to forgive is personal. That holding a grudge against the only person it hurts is ourselves.
Therefore, if someone has hurt you and does not show any sign of needing your forgiveness, you must give it to him the same. Only then can you let go of what hurts you, because resentment weighs within us and stops us.
4. Stop looking for an explanation
Sometimes things just happen because they had to. Without further explanation, and without a logical answer to justify it.
Most of the things that happen to us are out of our hands, and have nothing to do with anything in particular. Things are not always “cause-consequence”.
Therefore, at one point you must decide to give up. Stop looking for explanations where there are none, because that activity is completely exhausting and frustrating. Simply accept that things happened and that we don’t have to understand it: we just have to let it go.
5. Accept
In relation to all of the above, the most important thing is the acceptance that we cannot control everything.
That things can happen without our wanting it, and that we cannot do anything about it: we are human and as such, we are limited.
But, as we said, the cycles of life are not definitive: they overlap and connect. Accepting that something different can come into our lives and be just as good or even better, will help us get ahead.
6. Think of life as a train ride
A good way to let things go is to think of life as one big train ride. each stop is a cycle of our life, but inevitably, by train it will continue its course until the next station.
On the way there may be people who travel on the same train as us. Some will stay until the end of the trip, and others will get off at the next stop. It doesn’t matter, others will get on the train later.
Our destination is at the end of that journey, and we must be certain that something better is always waiting for us on the road.