Self-confidence allows you to have safety of you in the different functional aspects of life. It is a part of your inner spirit that forms the basis of emotional balance, to better face tasks, challenges and improve yourself permanently.
The lack of trust it limits potential, because it builds a wall between who you are and what you want to be. It is in that gap of absence of positive self-perception that you lose, because you allow other types of restrictive stimuli to take their place.
For example, if you have grown up in oppressive environments, subjugation, lack of appreciation in your childhood, losses and unresolved anguish, it is possible that trust is not present in the right way.
The good news is that confidence based on self-confidence is a skill; and as such, it can be trained and developed.
Benefits of trusting yourself
1. Greater autonomy to decide
two. sense of enjoyment
3. Improves satisfaction about who you are and what you can achieve
Four. You face problems decisively
5. Reduce doubts about your potential
6. Help balance your lifestyle from what is real to what you want
The origin is in an emotion
The emotion of fear is transversal to the lack of confidence. It is possible that in the face of certain internal or external stimuli, your value decreases so much that you feel little and think that you are not capable of facing them. However, fear can be a motor to propel you beyond that invisible barrier to project yourself beyond limitation.
the key is in to take action. Humans permanently revive the reptilian instinct to face or flee from situations: in the case of lack of security and self-confidence, it is the latter that prevails, putting all kinds of excuses and considerations that limit your expansion beyond the known or usual area.
Feeling fear is normal. The challenge appears when it limits you and restricts all kinds of deployment and development. The origin of fear in the absence of self-confidence can be total, you feel totally annulled to make decisions no matter how small; or partial, in certain situations or stimuli is where the lack of security is manifested.
There are usually two huge drivers of this limitation, and they are:
1. The fear of failure
The people with the most inner indecisiveness are the ones who fantasize negatively most of the time. Since fear is an internal construction based on an apparently real external expectation (in your mind), it is possible to deconstruct it to convert it into something pro-positive that drives you forward. Every day we have approximately 12,000 internal dialogues, when we talk to ourselves. Start by observing that self-talk, to detect what kind of words you say to yourself, and with what levels of certainty you pay attention to it and act accordingly.
In general, the fear of failure feels like a very powerful emotion that blocks, stagnates and limits all your actions; so it is possible to change the chains of beliefs that you have inside, to change them for more functional ones to achieve your goals and objectives.
two. recurring negative thoughts
We have about 60,000 thoughts a day; Of those, there are people who think negative 90% of the day, so it is possible to imagine the result they obtain in their lives.
One of the biggest problems is these failure warnings that internally say; which, as a result, generate self-fulfilling prophecies. That is to say that, through the emotions and feelings of your subconscious mind, you bring what you think to reality, and there, you simply lose.
It is possible to train in disarming that unconscious cognitive bias of thinking negative almost all the time, to reach a certain functional neutrality so that you also boost your potential instead of restricting it.
5 resources to be a self-confident person
To start having more confidence in yourself, here is a box of tools to practice daily; They don’t take too long and you’ll see results if you do it regularly:
1. Body posture
The upright posture and shoulders back is known as the pose of the superhero or heroine. In fact, in all cartoons and comics you will find them with this “super power”. At Harvard University, they experimented with 42 participants. One group was asked to hold that winning stance for two minutes, and another a losing stance (shoulders slumped, defeated, forward, head down). The result showed that those who had an upright posture revealed feelings of power, strength, enthusiasm and confidence; while the other group claimed to feel despondency, anguish, low self-esteem, low performance.
Tools: Before a stressful or difficult situation, do the posture of the superhero or heroine for 3 minutes, breathing slowly and filling your entire capacity with air. It also works to open your arms as if you won a marathon, make repeated jumps about ten times as if celebrating; stretch your spine with your arms up under the shower; and sing or whistle happily at all times where feasible.
2. Make decisions
A decisive factor in gaining self-confidence is the ability to decide. Many people find it difficult to achieve it, since it implies a risk: things can go well or not so much.
Tools: start with small decisions until you acquire the skill of choosing the best options; prevent others from choosing for you (for example, food in a restaurant); analyze, but do not delay the decision, which is called “analysis paralysis”; think about what is the worst that can happen regarding the decision you make (in general, the tremendous consequences are the product of fantasy, rather than reality).
3. Detect what your insecurity buttons are and overcome them
We all have some internal keys that, when activated, make us feel especially insecure. If we manage to detect them, we will have overcome these invisible barriers that hinder our security.
Tools: works with a psychotherapist in very limited cases, since it will be necessary to dive into the unconscious. In other situations, a coach An experienced or neuro-linguistic programming expert can help clear up and reestablish the broken loop of inner insecurity to lean on your strengths.
4. Focus on the achievements, instead of the failures of your life
A frequent view of insecure people is that they focus too much on failures or catastrophic situations.
Tools: make a daily list of small achievements (there always are); detects advances in minimal aspects to reinforce the reward center of the brain -the place of self-recognition-; work on your limiting mental models, to detect beliefs and paradigms that may be limiting your security.
5. Reassess the stress that lowers your self-confidence:
Undoubtedly, lack of self-confidence is a source of stress. It is possible that you feel that you are diminished in the face of life situations, and the lack of assertiveness to act appears.
Tools: Trick your brain with overcoming words knowing that what you need to manage is fear (even if it seems strange, talk to it and say directly: “I know, it’s you, the fear that wants to stop me. You won’t get it this time.”) By doing it and putting words to it, that emotion loses potency. Work with affirmations: they are an excellent tool to move forward (examples: “I can”, “I am valuable and I can successfully overcome this and any situation that arises”, “I love and accept myself as I am”). Change the words that describe the emotion you feel: for example, instead of saying, “I’m terrified of this meeting with my boss,” say forcefully and internally, “I’m excited to have the meeting with my boss, and I’ll take this experience to learn from it.” and move on.”