They say that time shows maturity. But sometimes you can find parents, teachers and even grandparents who have “temper tantrums” or attitudes that seem like those of a young and inexperienced person.
The experience is undeniable, but there are many times that people have gone through life trusting their logical intelligence… but not their emotional one.
For centuries the management of emotions has been neglected and a rational and logical culture has been instilled in which, as long as your production and knowledge serve to produce, the rest can be left aside.
Not long ago emotional intelligence began to be relevant in the psychological field. Today schools seek to educate children emotionally, but unfortunately the main education of this type comes from home and since it is complex and does not give results that serve the aforementioned purposes, many leave it aside, but its importance is key for the success of many people.
Emotional intelligence is about identifying and managing your emotions and those of others. Be perceptive to the feelings of others and not just be carried away by hard data, but give way to interpretation and emotion.
Emotional understanding, the ability to use emotions when thinking and solving problems, and the ability to control emotions are basic to having a good intelligence of this type, but there are other keys that can help us from childhood to the last day of our lives to grow as emotionally intelligent people.
1. Calm down and explain
When something does not seem to you or does not turn out as it should have, you can become conflicted, upset and lose your temper. One way to improve is to explain step by step what happened and why it didn’t give you the results you wanted. It may take time to hit the nail on the head, but the analysis, although it does not come easily, will make you understand that you will never have complete control of things, and thus you will be able to let go of a lot that does not depend on you. Sadness, rage and anger can be replaced by having an enlightened mind.
2. Be empathic
There is hate everywhere, but it is never good to meet hate with more hate. Sometimes, even if we know that someone is wrong, it is good to put ourselves in their shoes and try to understand why they say that or make those decisions. Most of the time you will find that they are communication problems or having grown up in different contexts, that will also help you to see that perhaps many of your beliefs can be contradicted by other people and that there is no universal truth.
We can make the same mistakes, but as long as our reaction is different and always focused on improving and helping, we will realize that our emotional intelligence grows. Oscar Wilde once said: “experience is simply the name we give to our mistakes”.
We are our actions and repeating patterns is part of our emotional intelligence. We have to take action, plan and execute in a different way, and these new paths will open our eyes to new emotions and experiences.
Look within yourself for what scares you, what you can’t stand, what you don’t know, and how to deal with these things will make you happier. That is what emotional intelligence seeks, happiness. And it is precisely that for which many live and what many others do not know, for looking for it in material objects and not in their feelings and their relationships with other people.