Online dating is a whole new world. You’ve probably encountered some of the weirdest people in generic chat rooms or on specialized dating apps. And if not, here’s a sample of what you’re “missing”: 16 weird, awkward, funny, and sometimes miraculous Tinder chats that lead to love. The images and stories come from the Tinder Subreddit.
1. Chatting With Sauron on Tinder, the usual
It seems that Sauron, the villain of The Lord of the Ringsneeds some love after some hobbits threw his jewelry in the trash. This user came across him and had a chat very in keeping with this character.
Sauron: It has begun. The East will fall. The Kingdom of Angmar will rise… the time of the Elves ends. The Age of the Orc is coming.
User: *laughs at Andúril* (the sword Aragorn carries in the last movie)
Sauron: *shows him a picture of his loved ones burning through the crystal ball*
User: *cries for his loved ones*
2. Do you want the honest answer or the diplomatic one?
When you meet someone, you tend to lie to avoid revealing who you are too quickly. It’s normal, an initial rejection is very scary.
This is an example of how a sincere answer can be better than a diplomatic one. Will it inspire you to not always wear a social mask?
She: Hello.
He: Hey. If you woke up tomorrow as a boy, what would be the first thing you would do?
She:Do you want the honest answer? Or do you want me to give a more appropriate response to the fact that we just met?
He: The honest one, please.
She: I would do the helicopter with the penis right now.
3. The profile photo is key
Your profile picture is crucial on Tinder. It holds 80% of your chances of attracting someone, so you better put your best face forward or you won’t even be eating a pineapple sugus. This user didn’t follow that advice and decided to put a truck instead of his face, which led to this hilarious conversation.
Truck: Hey, what’s up?
User: What is it like to be a truck?
Truck: What do you mean? I’m not a truck lol
User: The profile picture doesn’t lie.
Truck: Lol. I have other pictures besides my truck lol. I just love my truck.
User: Yeah, yeah… that’s what a truck would say.
4. Everyone has their fetishes and that’s okay
This user has a joke account on Tinder. Instead of flirting, he decides to entertain and educate his crushes with facts about the world of trains. Normally, no one can stand his initial greeting. But here’s the exception, someone who seems to understand his fetish or at least wants to listen to him:
He: I have train data
She: Tell me your dirtiest train fact
He:In 1825, there was a boy so fat that he literally caused a steam train to explode using only his ass.
She: I’m impressed.
HeThe name of the train was the Best Friend of Charleston, and the fat man was a fireman, the man in charge of keeping the fire going. He was bothered by the sound of the safety valve, so he sat on it. And then the train exploded.
She: Wait. I just checked and you’re right. I thought you were making this up.
He: I never make up facts about trains.
5. When the conversation goes nowhere
It’s happened to you. On Tinder, on Meetic, on Badoo, on OkCupid or in a normal chat. I’m talking about the fateful conversation where the other person answers with monosyllables, with “ok”, with “hmmm”. It’s annoying, isn’t it? Well, it happened to this user and he decided to respond in this way.
He: Why did you say you were from Edinburgh?
Grace: Because I’m bored.
He: And why Edinburgh? Do you know a lot about Scotland?
Grace: No.
He: Do you know what that is?
Grace: No.
He: Me carrying this conversation.
6. The harsh reality
Remember when I said above that sincerity is very important? Sometimes it is better to lie, like in this conversation that ended quickly for obvious reasons.
He:You must be the only girl I’ve seen who only has solo pictures. I like that.
She: That’s because I don’t have any friends.
7. The damn height
What the heck is going on with height? Why is there such an obsession with talking to guys or girls who are exactly X meters and Y centimeters tall? This user came across a girl who was picky about this topic and decided to explode.
He: Hey.
She: Aren’t you very tall? Why do you put that you’re not tall in your profile bio?
He: Yes, I’m not tall. I put that because it’s the first thing everyone asks me. It saves me time.
She: Oh, well. Then you’re not tall enough for me. Sorry.
He: For heaven’s sake, you’re not hot enough to justify your shitty personality.
8. Another one of pure and hard honesty
This is a harsh response, but isn’t it hiding the truth behind Tinder and other apps?
He: What convinced you to swipe right?
She: Desperation. And you?
9. If Freud were to raise his head…
It is said that many people unconsciously seek to marry their father and mother, especially if they did not receive much parental love as children. That is why they often end up with people who are identical to their parents, either physically or literally. This girl was about to take that sinister step, but this happened:
She: Craig, I’m going to be honest. You have the same name as my dad. That kind of puts me off a little.
He: It’s okay, I prefer you to call me by my nickname.
She: Oh yeah? What is it?
He: Daddy
10. Failed attempt at cyber-sex
There are people who go for the job. Instead of asking questions or introducing themselves, they prefer to get straight to the point. This person wants to have cyber-sex, but they propose it to the least suitable partner.
User 1: I’ve been friendzoned a lot of times lol. Do you fancy rp?
User 2: Roleplaying?
User 1: Yeah.
User 2: Okay. I’ll be a level 9 half-elf, Druid class. I throw a fireball! How do you respond?
User 1: Oh no, I meant erotic role-playing. Sorry.
User 2: I throw a SEXY fireball!
11. It’s a trap!
If there are people who go all out when it comes to sex, others find ways to catch their prey. Or at least they try.
He:
She: 69?
He: Come on, I’m in.
She: HAHAHAHAHAHA. No.
12. The golden phrase
If you take a quick look around the web, you’ll find hundreds of pages, forums and videos dedicated to discovering THE PHRASE. That is, the magic phrase that will help you break the ice and, most importantly, get to the woohoo level, as they say in The Sims. Well, this conversation hides a valuable lesson in this regard: each person has their phrase… and sometimes it can be very strange.
She: Tell me something interesting about yourself.
Dennis: I wear shoes during sex.
She: Lol, are you doing anything tonight?
Dennis: I hope to wear shoes
13. Masterstroke
They say confidence is key in the world of flirting, whether it’s real or virtual. This person exudes confidence and something tells me that things must be going relatively well for him.
Timothy: Thxy72zya. Copy that.
User: What does that mean? It’s crazy.
Timothy: It’s my wifi password, to save time for when you come here later.
14. The date that never was
This happens too. You don’t like someone, you stop talking, but the other person keeps trying, leaving little messages every now and then in case a miracle happens and you decide again that it’s worth it. This case goes to the next level.
Rare user: We should do something together this weekend.
Rare User, Jan 18 at 1:23 AM: Do you have time later? Let’s go eat together.
Rare user, at 3: I’ve booked a table at six at XXXXXXX. You’re going to love it!
Rare user, at 5:32: I’m on my way there, can I pick you up? Where are you? I’m already in Christchurch.
Weird user at 6:25: Damn time-wasting bitch.
15. Quick, steal this technique that seems to work
There are flirting techniques that shouldn’t work. But oh, reality surpasses fiction.
He: What did four say to ten?
Silence on her part.
He: Correct! Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because numbers are a construct and cannot speak.
She: … will you marry me?
He: It depends, do you have good health insurance?
16. The Tinder conversation that lasted THREE YEARS
There are people with infinite patience and then there are these two.
He in September 2014: Michelle, hello.
Michelle in November 2014: Hey, sorry! My phone turned off.
He the next day: Wow, you found it super fast. It usually takes me five months to find my charger.
Michelle then said: Yeah, I just wanted to make sure it was fully charged. From 0 to 100. Very slow.
He in January 2015: Oh sorry I was in the shower.
She in February 2015: Oops, I just saw the message. Sorry, I was in class.
He in May 2015: Michelle, I’m sorry, I made a terrible first impression. I was just really busy with final exams.
She in December 2015: Hi. I’m really sorry for replying so soon, I’ve had a rough week.
He in October 2016: Michelle, I don’t want you to think I’m rude. It’s just that midterm exams are coming up and it’s been hard to keep up with everything.
She in February 2017: Hi, I wanted to reply quickly, but you know, President’s Day has been keeping me busy. You know how hard it is!
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Tags: Love, Applications